This might be confusing to read but this is all I have time for these days. I wrote down their name when they first appeared on screen and then as they came back time and time again throughout the episode I went back and filled in more details about each person.
- Grant: Not nearly as cute as his profile picture. He’s not going far. Yes he is, he’s in lots of previews.
- Jordan: Winner! And Aaron Rodgers’s brother?! Peter chose him to win and I’m jealous. That was an excellent choice. Their kiss was not cute. Peter said it was like a kitty drinking water. First impression rose goes to Jordan, no surprise.
- Alex: No way. This guy seems like a real clown. Plus, he’s shorter than she is.
- James: This is the superfan and I actually like him! The Chris Harrison thing at the end was really funny.
- Evan: So this is his real job! I’m surprised and he seems less awful than his picture made him seem. And he’s got mojo for jojo, which I like. His personality will carry him through a few weeks. He seems nice and normal.
- Ali: Smokin hot, but he’s a bartender, so no. And I’m pretty sure he shaves his legs. I do think he’ll go pretty far though.
- Christian: Wakes at 3:30am to get to the gym? No. That’s stupid on so many levels. He seems sweet though and I like him other than that. Oh, the side-boob touch was TIA.
- Luke: Much cuter than his picture! And he went to West Point, so he’s legit. But Jojo doesn’t strike me as a small-town kind of girl. Coming in on a unicorn was actually sort of cute. I get a good vibe from him.
- Derek: Sweet. Plain. Cute. I really like him!
- Robby: He’s the guy that said modge podge instead of hodgepodge. How can I ever forgive him for that?
- Will: Class clown type? Meh. Doesn’t strike me as her type. Although I do like that he’s an engineer. And the awkward kiss was just awkward.
- Chad: Nope nope nope. His eye contact was creepy and gross. Ew. And she said he smelled good. I know very few respectable men who wear cologne. OH NO! This is the guy I picked. I hate this. He’s fake and gross and rude to the other guys in his interviews and nice to her face, so I hate him. I think he might be the villain. Yes, villain. WHY DID I CHOOSE THIS GUY? Wife beater.
- Daniel: Opening with Damn Jojo was funny. He’s not cute. He looks like the villain in a tv show. And he was totally rude to the other men in his interviews. Oh now he’s trying to explain his opening joke! Lol. And the short tie is so sad. Lol. And now he’s drunk and naked. Lol. And he stayed???
- James Taylor: Nope. Men who play guitar are super sketch, but I’m giving him half a pass on this since it’s his actual profession. He seems genuinely kind and I bet he’ll be one of the favorites in the house among the other men. Jojo will never go for him though.
- James F.: Not cute. Needs a spray tan. He was wearing a black dress shirt and a red tie, which is never ok so he’s got to go asap.
- Saint Nick B.: That was sort of cute. He’s not cute though.
- Chase: Peter loved his mustache joke. I did not.
- Sal: Nope.
- Brandon: No. He’s the hipster.
- Vinny: Toast. No. Drunk. Huh? Why did he stay?
Peter: They didn’t exactly show us his entrance.
- Wells: All-4-One?! YES!
She kept the two guys who got so drunk it was awkward, but got rid of Coley who made her laugh and handsome Peter?
The Jake thing was stupid. He’s stupid.